Description

Yes. This is an Italian hardcore porn movie based on the Odyssey, and as someone with a lot of interest in how Greek epics have been adapted to other formats, I couldn’t resist. My only excuse is that I got curious.

Would you believe me if I said it does actually follow the narrative of the Odyssey to an impressive and hilarious degree (for a porn parody). The sex is unbearably unsexy in that soulless retro porn way (bone dry ladies, flat but intense lighting, and yes, complete with awful music to drown out the spoken instructions to the performers), I’m only here because nothing gets weirder than Odysseus being trapped by the cyclops only the cyclops is a normal-sized attractive woman with a false beard and an eye painted on her forehead, and instead of blinding her, Odysseus exhausts her with anal sex and sneaks out.

Odysseus never removes his sandals. Penelope delivers an impassioned monologue about love. There’s a very scenic lake, and a very rickety pier I was worrying the performers were gonna fall off of mid-flagrante. The scenes at Alcinous’ court (where Odysseus, like in Homer’s epic, regales the royals with tales of his journey — except these involve a lot more monotonous sex) and Odysseus’s palace at Ithaca seem to have been filmed in actual ancient stone castles. I don’t have the words.

Italian No Subs